The Irish SAS were dropped into Russia last week

/Irish Jokes/

NEWSFLASH…
The Irish SAS were dropped into Russia last week with orders to take Vladimir Putin out……
So far…. news reports say …… he’s been to the cinema twice……… and last night they went Ten Pin Bowling…..!

Old man Murphy and old man Sean were contemplating life

/Irish Jokes/

Old man Murphy

Old man Murphy and old man Sean were contemplating life when Murphy asked, “If you had to get one or the other would you rather get Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s?

”Sure, I rather have Parkinson’s”, replied Sean

“’Tis better to spill a couple of ounces of Jameson whiskey than to forget where you keep the bottle!”

Paddy went to the doctor

/Irish Jokes/

Paddy went to the doctor’s and more

  • Paddy went to the Doc’s today. and said “do you treat alcoholics”, The Dr replied, “of course we do”………Paddy said “great get your coat on, I’m feckin skint
  • Barman says to Paddy “Your glass is empty, fancy another one?” lookin’ puzzled Paddy says “Why know would i be needed two empty feckin glasses?”
  • Paddy says to Mary if you were stranded on a desert island who would you like most to be with you?”

    “My uncle Mick” replies Paddy.

    “What’s so special about him?” asks Mary.

    “He’s got a boat,” says Paddy
  • “Young man,” said the judge, looking sternly at the defendant.“It’s alcohol and alcohol alone that’s responsible for your present sorry state!”I’m glad to hear you say that,” replied Murphy, with a sigh of relief.”Everybody else says it’s all my fault!”