I bought a dog off a blacksmith today.

/Hilarious Jokes/

I bought a dog off a blacksmith today.

As soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the door.

I called the cops about a murder

/Hilarious Jokes/

I called the cops about a murder on my front lawn…

But they said they couldn’t do anything about crows and to stop calling them.

My wife accused me of being a transvestite.

/Hilarious Jokes/

My wife accused me of being a transvestite.

So I packed her things and left.

I haven’t owned a watch

/Hilarious Jokes/

I haven’t owned a watch for I don’t know how long.

I was willing to take.

/Hilarious Jokes/

I almost got caught stealing a board game today.

But it was a Risk I was willing to take.

A man showed up for a duel armed

/Hilarious Jokes/

A man showed up for a duel armed only with a pencil and paper.

He then proceeded to draw his weapon.

My girlfriend says I’m hopeless

/Hilarious Jokes/

My girlfriend says I’m hopeless at fixing appliances.

Well, she’s in for a shock.

What kind of music do you like?

/Hilarious Jokes/

Two windmills are standing in a field. One asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?”

The other one says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

Call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

/Hilarious Jokes/

1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

A Dino-snore

Student eats his homework

/Hilarious Jokes/

 Why did the student eat his homework?

Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!